Time for an online dating update even though my creativity has been stifled. Many topics
are were off-limits.
“Horsegirl” is not a good screen name.
Let me see if I can recreate what was there.
They removed my/this website.
EDIT: The above is a bit dated and from free sites (POF, OKC). It is probably also off-base. I am not a prude!
EDIT #2: I don’t think I am going to be here long. Trial period. Profile keeps getting excised. Serious women with meticulous profiles and oodles of pictures. Real, recent experience: Do you really think men or women care if you climbed the Materhorn? All your profile says is Yale University. You lived in Paris, Frankfurt, and Rome? I’m a writer but I don’t want to be in the profile-writing or (self) picture-taking business. I think it is too much for me.
I did live in Frankfurt. And… FBIHQ, great schools (some with good football teams) Oh yes, I’ve had some great careers and look forward to about five more. And I am sooooo happy to share if you ask.
Something like that. I probably would have edited most of it out anyway, once my mood changed. But it is unacceptable to have it removed.
“Smart, funny, confident, very innocent, sexy as hell, and with an incontrovertible spirit. You know it when you see it.” I know that was there.
There is rebirth. There has to be a “Moving on, part 2,” and parts beyond that too. How did she do it?
Match.com? I think it is a fools’ game. The women may be fabulous but the process is not becoming. It is a shame to pay for that extra security, if that is what they call it. Just stop trying to hide. I think they are taking women, in particular, for a ride.
The views, likes, interests, winks, and emails are astounding in just one day. What is the difference between a “Like” and an “Interest?” Much of it is spam. I feel badly for the people there. My God, WarriorPrincess? Hrtful@talkmatch.com? It is beyond stunning how seriously people take it. And here I thought pet products was an emotionally-driven product category. Wow.
The more you pay the more important it is. Everything is tracked and they know exactly; brand loyalty–for women–in online dating. The problem is Match.com has no particular advantage, except size, kind of like Amazon. They’re Amamatch.com.
Maybe I’ll go back to NAME and OKCupid. How did she do it? Personality–and what’s behind it–and the goddamn ability to put it into words. (EDIT: To write it (? in person); in person too, just very different.) Add in a lot of targeted marketing. And persistence. Great Travel Plans (!) don’t hurt.
That plays a big part. It is a written medium.
‘You are exactly like me,’ I never actually said, ‘if I hadn’t lived my life at all. If I had no self-awareness whatsoever.’ And some animals (e.g., zebras) cannot be tamed.
Speed dating!! I think that is the future of gender relations. Maybe Tinder; wait a minute, you saw my picture… It is a picture of a car!
P.S. Possible thought for the future. I’m through with calling cell phones. If you can’t talk, don’t answer the phone. And I need to make sure my phones have personable greetings.
P.P.S. I remember taking the FBI excising test. My scores for a lot of things were good, but that one dragged me down. Probably it wasn’t explained well to me–I mean, I think I could do it. I just didn’t get it.
Incontrovertible or indefatigable, I get confused.
Because it is not allowed. There was a day that I read those things and I am proud of it. As a legal document it is curious–you are responsible but here’s what you can’t do. I guess it covers potential major or common issues like hacking or commercialization. What it really says is here are the reasons we can kick you out, it is only about a few dollars, and you go someplace better. It is the same as years ago.
I just assumed they had taken out the URL prohibition. I don’t know if pcpfeiffer.com is a URL; I mean, it is not a link. They ask for your occupation, but you can’t include your business website? How about pcpfeiffer dot com, or it is like how some people know me… pcpfeiffer. It can get awfully grey awfully fast. Is it possible that I’m just a little more precise with words than their editors? I also noticed they excise/approve books read–one of the very few categories available. Anyway, they removed a lot of other things–three or four paragraphs, maybe left some things, without any explanations at all.
It doesn’t say a whole lot about customer satisfaction except that when you call to seek it they may kick you out for that too.
It’ll be fun. I’m going to ask for an explanation, and I’ll post it here. 10:1 it just says thank you, your account has been canceled, and your payment refunded. They’re a big company–Barry Diller and all–and probably reputable in terms of actions like that.
* * *
Finally, Match.com. It is a terrible online dating business. The note to see what is going on here–I don’t want to be on a site where they indiscriminately edit your words–took three tries. They ask your computer (phone!) and operating system. It goes as high as Windows 8.
I have to say I don’t go to their mixers and I don’t know what kinds of included or free personality tests they offer. I’m not aware of any kind of matching beyond really simple, everyone-answers-the-questions-the-same-way matching. I think most people just look at the pictures, read the profile and a few things, and decide to write. Or not.
That is the craziest thing–that’s all it is, views and email. Awareness and it all starts there. Some women have caught on and try to write. Although it has always been my primary strategy too, on Match.com, do you really think just because I see you’re dumb profile you’re perfect for me?
You can’t tell because there is no information, fun or otherwise, and no matching. These poor people, trying to write the perfect profile (they give you something like 2,000 words) and perfect emails. It is impossible. Fun maybe at first, but it barely works. The profiles end up looking like they are for women, not men. All the pictures and all the travels, the romantic soliloquies, it just doesn’t work.
The whole design, chat, ongoing conversations, login-logout, etc. is unfriendly. Join pay email seems pushy. Even Plenty of Fish is better (and much bigger); it doesn’t have the same number of stuck-up beauties, but it is still better.
Lest I forget, they play the member-nonmember game big time. Maybe a lot of the games are non-payers; it certainly doesn’t help to email someone who can read it.
At least half of it is spam–winks, interests, likes from people who, if you look closely, don’t exist. It says profile does not exist. Match has to know this, yet it persists. Are some of these people paid, what is the word, prostitutes? Why are people from Seattle to Florida sending me all this stuff, initiating contact? I think scam is the only word. Scamming people’s lovelives. Why on earth does a 42-year old beauty from L.A. want to chat with me day after day?
Oh, this was new. I couldn’t figure out how to log out. I finally started turning off my computer. This means, that in a sidebar, my face is appearing constantly as logged-in. I finally had to email someone who looked to me like she was logged-in ten hours a day for the last four days.
There are nice people, they are trying, and that’s what gets me.
To Match.com and no reply
Hi. I really would like to know how--exactly how, why and when my profile has been excised or edited. I really would like to know every word and every reason; I'm surprised you don't provide that to paying customers. Why would you excise your own company/site OKCupid? Also, I would like to complain about the behavior of 8000footbliss. I believe her behavior violates the stated rules in about half a dozen ways. Details are provided at pcpfeiffer.com/columns. Thank you for my trial membership. I won't be paying to renew (pending your reply to this). Thanks, Peter Pfeiffer This form doesn't even have Win 10.