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(EDIT:  Relax.  Who’s going to see it?)

(The original, Feb 2015)

What would I do if I were in that position?

The situation is that of an ex-spouse constantly fighting the other ex-spouse, largely over an 8-10 year-old son.  This divorce is her doing (if I wanted him to divorce me…) and is her second.  She wants male companionship and to get on with her life.

I do not think I would be in this position, but that is not an answer.  I have not done it (yet), marriage and children because the opportunity has not been perfect.  I view them both as life-long commitments (hopefully in some form).

Finding a “loophole” is not a concept I would apply.  It just does not gel with my make-up.  I do not think that way.  There is a real personality difference there.




I really thought about this a lot.  It is a very tough situation.  A real option would be to give up and go on with my own life.  My own unaltered life.


It sounds frivolous or even like a platitude.  I think I would stay home and watch the World Series with my son.  And I think I would be there, maybe even in spirit only, for his birthday, Halloween, and the whole week.

I would forget about 4-5 dates a week, private planes, surfing and muscle toning, and waking up at 4 AM.  I would be home, (cell) phone and email on.

(Yes I have been called more introspective than most people.  I think I would reach the conclusion that I need to change.)

Too cryptic?  A solid year-round home and always available.

Finding a boyfriend or even new husband if fine too.  That maybe is not such a good idea until I deal with my own problems first.  And then, that will not work unless I am available and totally up-front with him.  (No loopholes.)


There must be a novel or movie about it somewhere.  Remember the Robert Redford character in Three Days of the Condor, whose job was to read novels and enter their plots in a database?  That would be a good job.  It is an interesting question.  So if I get divorced I only have to be a parent half time?

The other that sticks out immediately is doing something intentionally to end it.  It was the first time I have ever heard that (and twice).  Maybe it is human nature and we all do it, even unintentionally.

It is fun, if you keep it in perspective.  I learned a ton, specifically narcissism and love, and seeing it as the other person, as represented by a child.  More on that later.